A big part of the transformational process is challenging negative self talk (mean and nasty internal dialogue) again and again to look at and to cut through the roots and causes of self hatred.
I have been struck lately by several clients’ acceptance of negative self talk and judgments – what they describe as self-judgment and self-hatred. Along with this mind state comes the fear of criticism from others, as if it was a fact of nature that they are deserving of just about any negative judgment that comes their way.
We work to recognize, in a living way, that this negative self talk, this judgment of being — this judgment about our value as beings — is not only painful, but also cripples our ability to celebrate life. And this negative voice is always spouting falsehoods. It tells us out-and-out lies!
We can rightly discern the appropriateness of our thinking, speech, and actions, but deficiencies in these areas do not change the value of our being.
Consider the source of judgment of worth — who has the right to attack your worth? No one! What merit gives anyone, including yourself, the right to attack your worth? No merit!
So don’t wait another minute – be done with it! Focus repeatedly on the difference between Being/Worth — which cannot be judged, and activity of thought, speech, and body — which can be evaluated (with respect for Being/Worth) and improved upon.
The solution is short and sweet. Evaluate the nature of this type of judgmental thinking and aggressively and passionately be done with it by seeing what can be judged and what is beyond judgment.
This is the simplest yet most crucial and most challenging distinction for us to make. And most of don’t make it! The key is repeated attention to the distinction, and repeatedly reminding ourselves of the distinction as we recognize ever time wrong-headed thinking tries to hypnotize us.
Thaw the frozen river of Joy within! (How does one melt ice? Constantly focus warmth on it.)
To focus the warmth of self compassion on your own being, listen to one of our most popular audios, Becoming Fearless and Compassionate. Try it for at least 3 days in a row.
Like an Olympic athlete, you can overcome negative self talk and rise to heights of self-confidence you may never have thought were possible.
Jack Elias, CHT is founder and director of the Institute for Therapeutic Learning in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of Finding True Magic: Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP, a book and course which blends NLP training modalities with philosophical traditions of both East and West. Finding True Magic now available as an eBook!
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