Finding True Magic, the blog

I am going to tell you a powerful secret. I am about to give you a powerful all-purpose tool for taming your mind, your emotional states and your compulsions. I give it in various forms to all my clients.

In fact,  I had just given it to a client the day before I went to a local chain store for some sundries.  Here it is:  “I wish you perfect happiness.”

Simply repeat this to your mind, to your inner critic, to your anger (or jealousy or insecurity or fear), to parts of your body that ache. Have the intention that you are directing this blessing — “I wish you perfect happiness” — to your thoughts, sensations, emotions,  or urges AND to the source of whatever is creating them.

Focus and breathe. Deliver the blessing. Breathe. Relax as much as possible. Then re-focus and repeat the process several times. Notice what happens!

This is a very powerful practice. I have given it to the most unhappy and confused clients and it always makes a difference for them. Find out for yourself. You can also practice it with friends and enemies and strangers — even if you just say it silently to yourself. Say it to each passing driver as you’re driving down the road.

Even though I use this daily with clients and practice it myself, I’m still surprised by the way it comes to me. Which brings me back my experience of going to the store for the purchase of sundries. I had paid for my purchase  and was turning to leave when the clerk looked me in the eye and said, “All good things to you today.” And she meant it!

I actually had a little startle response,  it was such an unexpected surprise. It hadn’t been that long since I’d read the morning paper, so I probably had some subtle (or not-so-subtle) conditioning going on, to regard the world as a dark and depressing place. This grocery clerk with the nice smile and good wishes showed me that Love may be quite active in this world despite the headlines. Love can actually drown out  the incessant chatter of TV — it can go right under the radar of the chaos and cynicism.

And we can all expand Love’s influence in the same simple way that this clerk is doing. Her phrase is worded differently than the blessing I give out, but the message is the same. And the real key? She meant it — from the heart! Seeing her smile at me, hearing that blessing, changed my mind and made my day.

I still went out for coffee and read the paper again this morning. But this time I remembered the clerk and her blessing, and I blessed everyone I read about as I was reading. Let’s all do it! It doesn’t cost anything and it’s a simple, effective way to practice loving kindness.

I wish you perfect happiness . . . and I’m sure my new friend at the grocery store wishes you all good things today, too!

And sometimes it’s nice to have a little extra help. Try this audio CD — it’s one of my most popular ones –on Stress Relief, Rejuvenation & Empowerment. Or this one, Becoming Fearless & Compassionate.

I think you’ll enjoy this very funny video of Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche speaking on practicing loving kindness and compassion:

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Jack Elias, CHT is founder and director of the Institute for Therapeutic Learning in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of Finding True Magic: Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP, a book and course which blends NLP training modalities with philosophical traditions of both East and West. Jack offers private sessions in Lucid Heart Therapy and Life Coaching. He offers live trainings and distance learning trainings in Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP. Jack also presents keynotes and other programs to teach audiences how to use the techniques of  Transpersonal Hypnotherapy/NLP to achieve success, confidence, and a consistent sense of well-being.  Book Jack Elias to speak to your group or organization.

Someone asked recently about the difference between hypnosis and guided imagery. Many counselors say they use “guided imagery” which they may or may not consider related to hypnosis or hypnotherapy. And if that weren’t confusing enough, sometimes people aren’t sure of the difference between meditation and guided imagery.

So what is hypnosis, what is guided imagery, and what is meditation?

There are many kinds of meditation — the common denominator being focused attention.

A famous definition of hypnosis is simply, “focused attention to suggestions given.”

So you could argue that many times meditation and hypnosis are the same or overlap.

In the end, however, these words are just labels.

So here’s my suggestion: Be interested in your experience of being — what it feels like simply to be — without relying on labels. Then, whether you’re experiencing something called “guided imagery,” something called “hypnosis” or “hypnotherapy,” or something called “meditation,” you’ll be awake to your experience.

That’s the best meditation and the best hypnotic state, IMHO.

And if you’re interested in a no-labels dose of meditation, hypnosis, and guided imagery all rolled into one, check this out:

Finding True Magic audio CD: Cultivating Fearlessness & Compassion
Finding True Magic audio seminar: Mindfulness & Awareness

Recently meditation teacher Josh Korda of Dharma Punx NYC talked about the intersection of Buddhist meditation and punk culture. A good example of getting back to basics, focusing the mind, experiencing your own being.

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Jack Elias, CHT is founder and director of the Institute for Therapeutic Learning in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of Finding True Magic: Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP, a book and course which blends NLP training modalities with philosophical traditions of both East and West. Jack offers private sessions in Lucid Heart Therapy and Life Coaching. He offers live trainings and distance learning trainings in Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP. Jack also presents keynotes and other programs to teach audiences how to use the techniques of  Transpersonal Hypnotherapy/NLP to achieve success, confidence, and a consistent sense of well-being.  Book Jack Elias to speak to your group or organization.

As a practicing Buddhist for over 40 years, my orientation towards my hypnotherapy practice has always been within the context of the extraordinary insights about how the mind works — insights that are readily available in the Buddhist teachings.

One essential point is that to see clearly you must gain the ability to stop the mind’s constant thinking. This is done through meditation. Many Westerners misconstrue this point to mean stop the mind forever — as in have no more thoughts — and so they quickly despair of ever being able to meditate. “I can’t meditate, because I can’t stop my mind.” But this is to miss the point.

The point is to stop the mind just for an instant and develop your ability to be alert in that instant. My first Buddhist teacher, Shunryo Suzuki, Roshi always told us “Whatever you say, that is (Buddhism), and whatever you say, that is not (Buddhism).” That one stops your mind! When you hear that your mind’s constant choosing between this and that is futile — either way you’re right, and either way you’re wrong — you stop in a moment of astonishment and openness. And that’s the point.

Hypnotists recognize and use this gap in the mind’s constant thinking to deliver hypnotic suggestions. At the point when the mind “gaps” we are very suggestible. Buddhist teachers do the same thing. They create gaps where they can deliver the healing and enlightening teachings, past the shield of constant thinking, straight into the student’s heart.

How do you tell the difference between a wise spiritual teacher and a not-so-wise one?  It’s in the sauce: the quality of the suggestion/teaching delivered. A teacher can deliver suggestions that reinforce views and activities that lead to suffering, or  suggestions/teachings that uplift and mature a person’s character. You can use the same test to tell the difference between an effective hypnotherapist and an unskillful one.

The cultural baggage that comes with teachings from the lands of the East can obscure the important points  (i.e., “Will I have better meditation on a black Zen zafu, or on a red-and-yellow Shambhala-type zafu?” or “Oh no, I don’t even know what a zafu is!”) To cut through this confusion, Shunryo Suzuki, Roshi always told us to “find out what is the most important thing.”

There is an emerging voice in Buddhism that is pointing the way out of the cultural baggage problem. Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche, a brilliant young Tibetan lama, is stepping out of the cultural and religious trappings of his own heritage to emphasize to Westerners the most important point — find out who you are beyond allegiance to a culture or a religion. Hints to his students might come as hip poetry written in an urban cafe or a funny photo collage in a tweet (follow @ponlop), a post on Facebook, or a quote from Jimi Hendrix.

You can read his latest article in the Washington Post, “The Buddha Wasn’t a Buddhist” Nice timing, together with The Buddha on PBS here last night.

May you find delight and healing as you notice  what is present when you experience a gap in your mind.

May all beings be happy and free! May our compassion for all beings, ourselves included, continue to increase!

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View The Buddha (PBS) videos in chronological order here.
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Jack Elias, CHT is founder and director of the Institute for Therapeutic Learning in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of Finding True Magic: Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP, a book and course which blends NLP training modalities with philosophical traditions of both East and West. Jack offers private sessions in Lucid Heart Therapy and Life Coaching. He offers live trainings and distance learning trainings in Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP. Jack also presents keynotes and other programs to teach audiences how to use the techniques of  Transpersonal Hypnotherapy/NLP to achieve success, confidence, and a consistent sense of well-being.  Book Jack Elias to speak to your group or organization.

Anxious thinking can become such a familiar part of our inner dialogue, that we can end up believing it’s natural. “What’s going to happen to me?” “What if . . . ?” on and on. We’re good at keeping our anxiety going, but we don’t always know how to get control of anxiety.

Sometimes a simple positive suggestion can give you quick relief from anxiety.

Suggestion is the essence of hypnosis (my gig). Our inner dialogue is full of hypnotic suggestions. We are hypnotizing ourselves thought by thought! When we suffer, it’s because we’re giving importance to negative thoughts. We think they’re more valid than positive thoughts.

Surprisingly, we can be stubborn about changing this tendency to trust negative thoughts and be suspicious of positive thoughts. I meet people all the time who — in spite of their abilities, accomplishments and good fortune — can’t relax. They’re on pins and needles because they’re thinking, “One wrong move and I’m f—ed.” Basically, this is the message that all of our anxious thinking is giving us.

When I have this problem, I get relief when I remember, “You know, it’s fine for me to think about all these things. I just don’t have to be anxious about them.”

To be honest, I didn’t really like the idea at first.  It offended me that perhaps my problem wasn’t “important.”  But I kept making the effort to shift from worrying to wondering. Soon I found that it really felt a lot better and was actually a better problem-solving strategy.

I started sharing these insights with my hypnotherapy clients.  I’d say, “Instead of worrying anxiously about things, you could just wonder about them. You could develop solutions much more creatively and effectively if you wonder about how you’ll meet a challenge instead of worrying about how you’ll meet it.”

So simple, and effective! One person started cheering up right away. Another was more like me. He needed some time to decide to let it be that simple. After a few minutes of wondering instead of worrying,  a good idea came to him and he started cheering up, too.

You can use this self-hypnosis script to change your negative self-talk to positive suggestions. Doing this, you’ll change your mind from an enemy to an encouraging friend.

For more help doing this, try these Finding True Magic audios:
Stress Relief, Rejuvenation & Empowerment
Become Fearless & Compassionate

And you’ll find more tips in this article about squashing anxiety and grabbing happiness.

May all beings be happy and free! May our compassion for all beings, ourselves included, continue to increase!

Subscribe to this blog
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Jack Elias, CHT is founder and director of the Institute for Therapeutic Learning in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of Finding True Magic: Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP, a book and course which blends NLP training modalities with philosophical traditions of both East and West. Jack offers private sessions in Lucid Heart Therapy and Life Coaching. He offers live trainings and distance learning trainings in Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP. Jack also presents keynotes and other programs to teach audiences how to use the techniques of  Transpersonal Hypnotherapy/NLP to achieve success, confidence, and a consistent sense of well-being.  Book Jack Elias to speak to your group or organization.

My wife recently showed me a quote by Seth Godin,

“Anxiety is nothing but repeatedly re-experiencing failure in advance. What a waste.”

Well said, Seth.  It can be very helpful to recognize more precisely how anxiety is accomplished.

When speaking about anxiety, I often take my clients and students on a journey through time. I ask them to think of a painful memory from their past. Then I ask  them to try to be anxious about that past event. If they follow the instruction and keep the event in the Past, they can’t be anxious about it. Try it. If you think you’re succeeding, you’ve jumped out of the past.

Next I say, “Consider that you don’t know the actual Future. Since you don’t know the actual future, you can’t be anxious about the actual Future — because you can’t be afraid of what you don’t know.” Likewise,  “fear of the unknown” is a misnomer. The “unknown” is the absence of a stimulus,  so fear can’t come up about what is “unknown.”  (We’ll get to what fear of the unknown  really is in just a sec.)

Then I ask them to notice they can’t be anxious about the Present because you can’t find or hold the Present. It is constantly becoming the Past.

So, if you can’t be anxious about the Past, the Future, or Present, what can you be anxious about? (Head scratching . . . frowns)

The answer is you can only be anxious about an imagined Future. You can only imagine the Future based on the Past. If you imagine that the negative Past experience will repeat itself in some variation in the future, only then can you feel anxious.  The key word is “imagine”! When you say you’re afraid of the unknown, what you’re actually doing is imagining a  future that you don’t want.

Anxiety is a mind game – it’s your mind game! You are totally in control of creating anxiety. It’s the game of imagining that unpleasant things are going to happen to you and convincing yourself that it’s true, that it’s not imagination.

(At this point students usually raise their hands:) “But bad things can happen in the future, and you need to prepare for them.”

Yes, you need to prepare for reasonable possibilities. But does preparation require thinking/imagining in a way that creates fear? Seems to me that fearful imagining (some call it “worry”) is an extra side activity. Worse, it’s a side activity that diverts your attention from constructive preparation: imagining solutions!

(More head scratching and frowns) It’s challenging to recognize that you don’t see things as they really are. It’s challenging to realize you are living in an imaginary hypnotic trance of your own creation, instead of living in the real world.

Imagining is not all bad. Here is a delightful example of misperception. Mingyur Rinpoche is a  Tibetan teacher who once suffered terrible panic attacks. He got over those, though — in fact, scientists studying the brains of monks during meditation concluded that Rinpoche is 700 times happier than the average person! Below, Rinpoche shares what happened when he found a life-like  Dalai Lama replica in a wax museum:

So here’s the 10th and final in my list of Top 10 Ways to Be Happy:

#10. See Things As They Are and Imagine Successfully Creating Happy Outcomes

(Frowns, still unsatisfied.) “But bad things can happen!“  Yes,  but does a stressed and tired state of mind, run ragged with anxiety, help you meet the challenge of a “bad” event? Wouldn’t it be better to meet it with a refreshed state of mind because you keep your mind happy with positive future imagining? It’s your call.

I say, Nip Anxiety in the Bud!

If you’d like help doing this, see the following Finding True Magic audios:
Stress Relief, Rejuvenation & Empowerment
Become Fearless & Compassionate

May all beings enjoy unchanging happiness and freedom from fear!

Subscribe to this blog.

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Jack Elias, CHT is founder and director of the Institute for Therapeutic Learning in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of Finding True Magic: Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP, a book and course which blends NLP training modalities with philosophical traditions of both East and West. Jack offers private sessions in Lucid Heart Therapy and Life Coaching. He offers live trainings and distance learning trainings in Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP. Jack also presents keynotes and other programs to teach audiences how to use the techniques of  Transpersonal Hypnotherapy/NLP to achieve success, confidence, and a consistent sense of well-being.

I admit it. I love eating chocolate. My wife teases me about it, but I don’t care. According to the history books, if not science, chocolate’s happiness factor comes comes not only from its being addictively delicious but also because it may be an aphrodisiac. Sounds fine to me.

Of course, chocolate isn’t going to be the source of the true, unchanging happiness that makes you oblivious to dips in the economy or a hair in your spaghetti. But it can sure give you a lift on the path to ultimate bliss. So I suggest a composite approach . . .

#8.  Eat Chocolate, Mindfully
Since we’re going to eat chocolate, we may as well do it mindfully. The Vijnana Bhairava, a cornerstone text of the Shaivite philosophy of India, gives 112 dharanas (centering techniques) for doing all sorts of ordinary activities with mindfulness: walking, running, listening to music, and also eating. Yogis for centuries have been tasting enlightenment through the doorway of the different senses, so I’m not just making this up.

There are a few basic principles which can form the basis of your mindful eating meditation. These come from the Center for Mindful Eating. That’s right, there’s a center for getting centered while you’re eating.

And now for a less scriptural celebration to sweeten the focus of our mindfulness:

And if you’re really serious about mindfulness, explore this Finding True Magic audio set:
Mindfulness & Awareness: Balance these two aspects of your consciousness and live in joy.

May all beings enjoy unchanging happiness and freedom from fear!

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Jack Elias, CHT is founder and director of the Institute for Therapeutic Learning in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of Finding True Magic: Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP, a book and course which blends NLP training modalities with philosophical traditions of both East and West. Jack offers private sessions in Lucid Heart Therapy and Life Coaching. He offers live trainings and distance learning trainings in Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP. Jack also presents keynotes and other programs to teach audiences how to use the techniques of  Transpersonal Hypnotherapy/NLP to achieve success, confidence, and a consistent sense of well-being.

Last week I made an error in judgment that I thought would have a significant negative impact our my finances.  Right away the stress started: I got annoyed with myself  and my inner dialogue became very strident.

Ironically I discovered my mistake while researching some of my own past Finding True Magic Hypno Tips newsletters.  In the midst of gnashing my teeth (not good for you)  I kept trying to work. So I opened one of my old newsletters and read the following:

“Perception doesn’t cause anything! It is just raw data. For example, receiving a pink slip, or perceiving the imagination that you are about to, doesn’t cause anything. In other words, you do not have to feel afraid. Fear isn’t caused by perception of an outer event (the pink slip) or by an inner event (thoughts and imaginations).

Hmm, there might be something to this!  The newsletter continued,

“Fear is caused when you move from perception to imagination of some consequence (thinking things will only get worse). But the fear and stress really takes root when you go from there to conviction that you can’t handle the consequence and nothing good can come of it (you’re screwed!).”

And the tour de force:

When the first edition of Finding True Magic was released in 1996, readers were quite surprised. It wasn’t that I had brought together East and West in the context of hypnotherapy and NLP, but that the book looked through the lens of Eastern philosophies to show how the ego shapes our thoughts and experience. The result astonished people, many of whom previously believed that, if they (or their clients) came to therapy with a “problem,” that problem demanded a solution. My approach, however, rendered the problem itself  null and void, even absurd, simply by showing the keeper of the problem how the process of egoic minding” kept the problem alive and made it seem “important and urgent” (as in Stephen Covey’s Time Management Matrix).

In a section of the book called “Models of the Psyche, Concepts of Reality” I explained how the Vedic tradition of India gives the name “Shakti” to the energy that underlies and controls all phenomenal reality. Shakti is female because she gives birth to everything.  She is us, and we are her. On the other hand, the unmanifest reality (out of which the Shakti arises) is called Shiva, the immovable, indestructible witness of Shakti’s play. Shiva is Shakti’s  male consort, her lover. Locked in eternal embrace — the two are one and the same, yet different, always ecstatically merging and moving apart, only to merge once again.

The special aspect of Shakti called “Matrika Shakti” is the power of illusion. At the root of this power is Language. Words are the primordial hypnosis, the building blocks of the thinking mind.

In the Eastern philosophical approach to NLP, we look at the dream- creating power of our thinking minds. We have to access our “Shivahood” to do this — our awareness that underlies the play of thoughts. Otherwise, hypnotherapy becomes just the shifting of one trance for another, and we stay caught in the realm of the most powerful and subtle trance: egoic minding. In the book I call it “minding”, not mind, because it is not a thing — it’s a process. Until the process of egoic minding is dissolved completely, we  have to use awareness to stay alert to its tricks of illusion. This applies whether the egoic minding is in yourself or in an “other.”

Ego happens. It’s happening all the time, but you have to be on the lookout, or you’ll miss the whole Shiva-Shakti show.

This description bothered some people because it short-circuited the egoic underpinnings of people’s problems. I was saying it wasn’t necessary to sit and talk for years about our pains and problems. Instead of being laborious, I asserted, positive transformation could be quick, easy, and even delightful. The egoic minding doesn’t have a true sense of humor, so humor is a powerful tool in breaking its spell. Humor arises out of awareness. Awareness of what? Awareness of 1) not being the thinking; 2) not being an object being thought about; and 3) awareness of being the awareness without having to think about it.

That might sound intimidating, but it really isn’t. It’s just me playing around. And the more you play with this stuff, the closer you get to seeing what’s real and what’s not.

Want to try an experiment?

Consider the following (and at the same time, remain aware that you’re thinking):

1) people’s problems are always about themselves as the object of the problem

2) in order to be the object you have to be something

3) That something is always an idea (or set of ideas), in other words, a suggestion (hypnosis!) of who and what you are. But it’s never really what you are (and what are you, anyway?).

In other words, the problems we have are all about a false self, an idea of self. A problem is no more than a trance, an illusion. So in theory, you could just walk away from it. What makes it so hard to walk away, then? The subtlety and complexity of the shadowy dualistic play of egoic minding (our blind spots).

In the world of Western psychotherapy this was a controversial viewpoint at the time. But I was really just passing on what I’d learned from my teachers: Shunryu Suzuki Roshi, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, and Gurumayi Chidvilasananda. The Buddhist and Vedic traditions had been pointing out this wisdom to their students for generations.

I’ve been using this method, Transpersonal  Hypnotherapy/NLP, for over 20 years now. Thousands who have experienced positive results can attest to its effectiveness. Read testimonials from clients,  students, and readers of Finding True Magic

If this blog post piqued your curiosity, you might enjoy Finding True Magic HypnoTips. It comes to you just once a month, rain or shine, and it’s free.

I began the practice and study of Buddhism at the age of 20. While Buddhism is commonly called a religion, it’s actually a science of mind. A religion is based on beliefs, while science strives through empirical data to arrive at an understanding of the true nature of existence. This latter definition most accurately describes the practice of Buddhism. By the time I encountered Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) and hypnotherapy, I had been studying Buddhism for 14 years. It was fascinating to discover that the most valuable insights and techniques presented by hypnotherapy and NLP were fragments of the Buddhist wisdom teachings that I had already encountered in a much more comprehensive form.

Due to my experience with this profound body of Buddhist knowledge, I was able to adapt and enhance what I had learned in my hypnotherapy and NLP training. I was then able to create a synthesis of hypnotherapy and NLP that uniquely and radically awakens people’s minds and also touches their hearts: Transpersonal Hypnotherapy/NLP. This system is taught in my book and in my hypnotherapy certification trainings, called Finding True Magic. I was able to do this not because I’m so smart, but because the teachings of Buddhism that I was so fortunate to study are filled with living wisdom, compassion, and skillful means.

My first teacher, Shunryu Suzuki Roshi, gave this teaching on the practice of mindfulness while hearing sounds:

May all beings be happy while experiencing mindfulness and awareness!

Audio seminar on Mindfulness & Awareness

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Jack Elias, CHT is the founder and director of The Institute for Therapeutic Learning in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of Finding True Magic: Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP, a book and course which blends NLP training modalities with philosophical traditions of both East and West. Jack offers private sessions as well as live trainings and distance learning trainings for hypnotherapy certification.

The teachings of Buddhism add crucial insights to psychotherapeutic work. Primarily, Buddhism holds an exalted view of our human consciousness and being. A therapist’s basic assumptions and attitude about the nature of a human being profoundly affect the outcomes of his work with clients. If you have a limited view of what a human being is, you’ll get limited results. If you have an exalted view of what a human being is, you can get glorious results.

Check out this audio on Mindfulness & Awareness.

Video of Jack Kornfield discussing Buddhism and psychology:

May all beings enjoy relaxation, excellent health, and perfect peace of mind!

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Jack Elias, CHT is the founder and director of The Institute for Therapeutic Learning in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of Finding True Magic: Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP, a book and course which blends NLP training modalities with philosophical traditions of both East and West. Jack offers private sessions as well as live trainings and distance learning trainings for hypnotherapy certification.